Clint Barton: Professional Broke College Student
by thechosenone305
Summary: Clint Barton is often unlucky and needs help keeping his life together. Bucky Barnes is an accidental hipster who stress smokes and a tendency to get dragged up in stupid ideas. These are their adventures together. (Or the Hipster!Bucky and Student!Clint buddy AU with parkour, shenanigans, Tony Stark and Nick Fury being done with all of the students shit.) Clint/Bucky later on.
1. How They Met

**Hey there! This is Kat and Esme back in action, inspired by Clint Barton Hawkeye, Bucky Barnes feels and multiple tumblr head canons. We love these characters and decided to put them in college and strange situations that entails.**

**We have a lot more in store for all of you, so please enjoy these two meeting.**

* * *

If there was one thing Clint didn't like was being left alone at parties.

He wasn't even planning to go out that weekend. College had been stressful enough that week. Hell, life had been stressful enough. He just wanted to stay home in his small apartment and spend the rest of the night on Netflix. It was one of his few luxuries.

But then his _friends _ had to ruin it. Well, friends mostly referring to Tony Stark in this situation.

See, Clint liked his friends. They're good people, mostly. He could kick back and have a beer with them. Or he could have some late night (last minute) study sessions before a big test.

Tony Stark happened to be one of those friends.

It was all snark between them. But Clint soon learned, after going to school with him for two years now, was that snark was a way of showing that Tony Stark had a heart and he cared for the ones around him.

He showed that he cared by acting like he didn't.

In Tony's view, he thought Clint didn't get out much. And that it was easier to keep an eye on him when he could see him, not that he'd say that. Or well it's Tony, he just might.

Clint tried to argue that he did go out, Tony immediately backtracked that with "Oh no, no, no, Hawkass. I meant socially. You never go to parties."

Now that part was true.

Parties weren't really Clint's scene. He always told himself to act casual, that didn't really work that much. That and he was really looking forward to doing nothing productive that weekend.

But those weren't plausible excuses when it came to Tony Stark, unless it was Tony Stark saying them.

So Clint improvised. "Tony, I can't go. Hearing aids, you know," Clint said.

"Bullshit. I helped make them."

"I have to visit Kate."

"Kate is out of town."

"I have a sick dog to take care of."

"You don't have a dog."

"Yet."

"Listen, its not one of my parties. Thor and Steve are having a small party with some of the team at the their dorm to celebrate the win from this week. It means a lot to them. They actually got winning streak going this season," Tony paused before saying, "And you don't want to make Thor sad by not going. He's expecting to see you."

When he mentioned that Clint groaned, "Guess I have no excuses then."

"Dude, listen to me for once. Come on, you won't regret it, Clint. You'll have a great time."

"Yeah, yeah, when and where?"

"Saturday. 7 at their dorm. I'll pick you up."

"You don't have to. I can drive myself there. I don't wanna see Thor sad either."

"Thats the spirit! "

"Will Loki be there?"

"Probably. Thor always invites him. No one says no to Thor, not even his little brother."

Only then did Clint let out a long sigh, "Fine, but I'm doing this for Thor. Not for you, but for Thor."

"See you then."

oOo

Bucky had been sitting at the table at the party, awkwardly looking around through his long hair. He made some embarrassing small talk with a few classmates. Some of the other football players had come by to say hi. They remembered him from his high school playing days. And well, they knew him because of Steve too. A lot of the time, they came as a pair ever since they were young.

He knew he was dressed well enough for the occasion: scarf, fingerless gloves, tight jeans, his favorite pair of doc martens and one of Steve's oversized plaid shirts over his t-shirt. He looked ready to party, but he wasn't really ready for it because as much as he tried to fake a laugh, he just did not want to be there. He wanted to be there for Steve though, so he was going to tough it out.

At the other end of the table, he saw a few people were talking with each other, save for one short haired blond man who looked about as uncomfortable as he was.

Why did he come here again? Oh right, to provide support for his best friend. Yeah, best friend that _ditched _him.

Well, it was more like "Hey Buck, I gotta go for a sec. The guys are calling me," then Steve turned around and headed to where the rest of the team greeted him with a loud "Captain!"

That was almost two hours ago.

Bucky helped himself to some chips, a few Cokes. Anything to keep himself busy.

But there were some cigarettes and a lighter in his pocket that he was _itching _to use. Plausible excuse, right? College students smoked.

"I'm going for a smoke," Bucky said to no one in particular. Standing up from the group table, no one made any attempt to stop him, but he did see the blond man's head perk up.

Seeing his chance to escape, the man asked, "Do you mind if... I mean, can I come along?"

"Sure thing," Bucky shrugged.

Clint followed him outside to the front of the building. He sighed in relief. It was so much quieter out there, the street lamp and full moon providing some light. People were inside and in the backyard, so it was only him and Bucky.

"You smoke?" Bucky asked as he lit up his cigarette, leaning against the wall of the building. He was ready to offer a cigarette for him.

Clint shook his head. "No. I don't. I was just feeling really awkward in there and I had to get out," he gestured to his phone. "And I have this new game on my phone that I've been meaning to play all day."

With an inquisitive look, Bucky looked Clint over, then on his phone screen. He then said, "Nice" and simply took a drag of his cigarette.

"I didn't catch your name. You're a friend of Steve's, right?"

"I'm actually his roommate. Bucky Barnes," Bucky extended his unused hand to Clint. They do a quick hand shake before they let go, Clint to his game and Bucky just sticks his in his pants pocket.

"Clint Barton."

"You're a friend of Tony's, right?"

"Honestly, I'm a friend of everyone. I help them keep their shit together, kinda. Or...well they try to help me keep my shit together."

Bucky looked Clint over again, "A noble goal, I'm sure."

"But yeah, Tony dragged me here. And I'm guessin' Steve dragged you here?"

"Yep. When your best-friend is captain of the football team, you gotta be there to support his ass. '_Oh hey Bucky, let's go to a party, it'll be fun_!" Bucky scoffed, "And then we get here and he leaves me to go follow Sam around and I'm left alone to fend for myself. Man, how things have changed." He took a moment to take another drag of his cigarette, "Things were different when he was tiny and not in football."

Clint had seen Steve with some of his football teammates when he had gotten there. Laughing loudly, talking animatedly, he just managed to wave at the tall blond. Aside from the captain, he only really knew Tony, Thor and Natasha at the party.

"You got history with the cap?" Clint asked Bucky.

"Oh yeah. Hella epic childhood back story stretching to Brooklyn. You name it, we done it. I used to play football with him too, back in the day."

"Tony dragged me here. Asshole. Said I needed to get out more often and not spend all of my weekends on Netflix. Ironic as hell, cause that's is the same man that locks himself up in his lab/garage for days at a time."

"Ah, Stark. Hang's around with Steve sometimes, he's always a tricky one. He talks shit though, because Netflix is literally one of the best ways to spend a weekend."

"Nothing beats some quality time with Netflix. Natasha, you know her? The Russian redhead, dragged me out here too. Showed up at my door right before the party just to make sure that I was going. Like I can't be trusted." Clint asked.

"Ohhhh Natasha. Scary at times, but beautiful nonetheless. Tough as hell. I know her. I got her for a philosophy class. We make fun of our classmates in Russian together."

Before he knew it, Clint had shoved his phone back into his pocket, leaning on the wall and paying his full attention to Bucky. Bucky maintained his distance, not because of being uncomfortable but to not blow smoke in Clint's face. That was, until they were briefly interrupted by Thor.

"Clint! James! I am glad to have found you both," Thor greeted them with a large smile, his large frame taking up space in the door frame that he stood in.

"Who the hell is James?"

"Guilty," Bucky winced, "That's my real name, James Buchanan Barnes, you can see why I like Bucky better. And Steve came up with it when we were kids."

"Wait... wait, you're the James that Natasha talks about!"

"Yep, Nat and Thor are the only ones who call me James." Bucky explained awkwardly.

"Hey Thor, isn't that Loki over there?" Clint pointed back inside to the party distracting Thor from whatever he was going to say next. He could tell that Bucky didn't want to talk about his name, Clint could relate. Tony knew his middle name, and he used it for evil purposes.

"My brother? He's here? Thank you Clint, James. I must go see how he is. I am happy that you came to the party," Thor beamed. With that he left to find his dark haired brother.

"Thank you, so much," Bucky said relieved, and lighting another cigarette.

"No problem."

"Let's stay out here though, 'cause sweet Jesus Christ, let's not be near Loki."

"Such a bitch." Both men exclaimed at the same time, causing them to smile at each other.

"Mutual dislike for Loki," Clint commented. "I think we're gonna be great friends."

"Hell yeah."

Tony looking through the opened door that Thor didn't close, he couldn't help but notice how Clint and Bucky were hitting it off. He knew that Clint would enjoy this party, he was a genius after all. _Yep. More people should listen to me_, Tony thought.

He just grinned as he saw the two men exchange phones to put their numbers in.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it. ****We'd love your feedback. We really do!**


	2. Pizza Peter

**A/N: Sup squad! We're back! Disclaimer is the same: enjoy!**

* * *

After the big win from the football team dwindled down to last weeks news, things shifted back to its usual rhythm. People went to classes, went to work, the whole deal.

And as per the routine, Clint went down to the archery range to practice while avoiding his ever growing pile of homework.

He spent his time having texted Bucky, he hung out with Natasha, and watched some movies with Thor. And because he was technically an adult, he actually read some chapters in his textbook for the upcoming quiz.

It was only when he overslept for that class he decided to skip.

So far, he hadn't been able to get a hold of Bucky to hang out in real life. The guy was busy. Busy doing who knows what.

Skipping class is healthy sometimes. He could make do without all the work for one day. And he knew Coulson wouldn't mind. He'd get notes from Nat anyway.

With that reassurance in mind, he got dressed in his sweats and hoodie, grabbed his bow and quiver and made his way to the range.

* * *

A week after the party, while working on homework together with Bucky and deciding to get some pizza is when Steve remembered something.

"I don't think you've met Peter yet," Steve said to Bucky, "Peter Parker, messy short brown hair, skinny guy, skateboards, always has a camera."

"That can be any freshman on this campus," Bucky said. "God knows how many of these brats like to skateboard to places. And it's New York, a literal hipster magnet," he motioned all around him. "We have so many photographers out there, I'm not even kidding. Polaroids on the left, polaroids on the right."

"Speak for yourself, you're the one dressed like a French art student."

And surely enough, he was. Today Bucky was wearing his usual skinny jeans, a pair of dress shoes, plaid button up, a long paisley scarf wrapped once around his neck, and a tan coat that was actually folded on the back of his chair. His hair is down and messy in a windswept way that Bucky claimed to be all natural, but Steve knew that it took him nearly an hour to get it just right.

"Is that a challenge, Rogers? Think I can't pull it off? Are you doubting me?"

"Now why would I do that?" Steve asked sarcastically.

"I can fake a French accent, charm the ladies. Oui, oui croissant, bitch."

"You own a dozen variations of the same beret."

"Like I said, I can do it if I tried."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Hipster. Anyways, Peter is the pizza delivery guy," he said. "And he's a good kid."

Steve had an older brother approach to Peter. He was a nice kid and they just clicked. When Peter had questions about history and art, he went to Steve. When Steve had questions about science - well, on that he had plenty of choices. Tony and Bruce, fondly dubbed the Science Bros, were good with engineering and biochemical studies respectively. Jane Foster was talented with an extraordinary knowledge in astrophysics. Peter told him that he was in biomechanics with knowledge in engineering and biology, he worked with the resident Science Bros sometimes. Peter also did photography, which was pretty good.

All while being a pizza delivery guy and student. Wow.

They called the place, and did their waiting. Peter did arrive with their pizza on his last run, so he stayed a while with the two best friends in their tiny living room of their small apartment.

"Steve, do you ever wonder why weird things happen?" Peter asked the taller blond man.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"Its just….there was this really weird delivery a few weeks ago. Do you remember that party from the volleyball team? They asked us if we could deliver thirty five large pizzas in three hours and my boss nearly fainted."

Steve recalled when Peter had been with him and Sam in the recreation center when he received the call about having to rush to work to help do thirty five large pizzas in three hours. The freshman had to drop everything and run across campus to work. Sam agreed to hold his stuff for him until he was off the hook.

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"We got the pizzas done, in record time by the way. We had to get some of them done in the Starbucks across the street though. So yes, that's why it smelled like marinara sauce on Saturday. Anyway, the party was open for everyone, since they had won the first game of the season and all. And a lot of the people there got drunk and crashed in there. So, there was this one dude who lived pretty far from the athletic dorm, and he was drunk. Not all 'I think you're hot and we should bang' but 'I really can't drive because I have no car and I'm pretty intoxicated.' It's almost 12 at night, this dude walks in holding one shoe and he orders a pizza. I wasn't really surprised, cause this is college. And then I asked him if he'd wait fifteen minutes so he could pick it up at the counter, but then he says, "Actually, can you do me a huge favor and deliver it with me to this address." And then handed me his address."

Bucky raised a disbelieving eyebrow. _That couldn't have happened. What kind of idiot did that anyway?_

Steve on the other hand looked legitimately surprised. "What?!" he exclaimed.

"He said he would give me a twenty and let me keep the change. I asked my boss and he was like sure why the hell not and to go home. So this guy actually sat down and waited while his pizza was being made and he talked about the party and how he spent nearly half the time playing with the labrador outside while getting drunk. It was so weird."

"I drive the guy back to his apartment, so he thanks me, gives me a twenty gets out of the car and takes his pizza inside."

"That is….just...wow," Bucky says. "Something you don't hear everyday."

"Wait, wait, wait, Peter. Do you remember his name?" Steve asked.

Peter nodded, "Yeah, it was... uh.. Clint."

Bucky did a double take. "Clint?!" Bucky questioned.

"Yeah, Barton. Clint Barton, You know, the really good archer that won state last year? I've seen him around, but never really had a name to his face until now."

"He won state?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah, he went to statewide competition for archery and won. Right now, the archery team isn't formally having practices because most of the events are in spring, but they're pretty good. Clint is like the best out of them all," Peter explained.

Noticing Bucky's expression of incredulity, of just how much knowledge he had on the topic, Peter explained with "I'm editor in chief of the Student Newspaper, and we have to know about these kind of things."

"Ah, nice."

Bewildered, Bucky watched as Steve let out a long sigh, letting his head drop against the table top.

"Oh god….Clint….." Steve groaned.

Unsure of what to say, Bucky continued looking at his slice of pizza like it held all of the answers, "I….I met him last Saturday."

"I've known him for two years. Oh god….only he can get away with this kind of shit."

"He seems like a pretty cool person, though." Peter interjected.

"Oh! No, no, no, don't get me wrong, he really is. It's just…..wow, okay. I don't know what I expected."

"What were you expecting?"

"I have no idea when it comes to Clint."

"Well, he never misses anything when he aims, but that doesn't mean his life isn't a hot mess."

"Hear, hear."

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh that was a fun chapter. Hope y'all enjoyed!**


	3. LOKI'D

**A/N: hey squad! This is based off: thatsridicarus. soup. io/ post / 313912060 / Clint-gets-Lokid**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

There was a college campus Starbucks that everyone went to. It was like any other Starbucks in New York, reeking of different coffee beans, and filled with students taking advantage of the free wifi. It was more spacious than most coffee shops, since it was a popular spot near a large university. Despite the fact that it was a Starbucks, which is usually expensive, their university gave them a discount for all food/drink purchased at all campus businesses, just as long as they were students and had their campus ID to prove it. It worked out pretty well, lower prices attracted more students, because really everyone but Thor and Tony were just about dead broke.

Clint was lucky enough that Coulson understood their pains and made being a student slightly easier. Everyone knew that the hardass, take no shit Director of the University, Nick Fury, still listened to what students had to say. So when student discounts happened, Clint fell to his knees and cried legitimate tears of joy. Natasha had footage. And she sent it to Kate Bishop, in case a need for blackmail arose.

Honestly, there wasn't anything really special about that Starbucks, but somehow everyone in Clint's closest circle on campus decided that it was going to be the place where they'd all meetup. It had a comfortable set of two love seats and a couch in the back. That was their area. Natasha, Clint, Tony, Steve, Bruce and Thor would hang out there, with Peter and anyone else they knew dropping by occasionally.

Bucky had asked Clint if he wanted to go with the others and have some coffee. And since Clint had been wanting to hang out with Bucky for a long while, he didn't hesitate to say "Hell yeah."

Save for Thor, who was in class, they were all taking their familiar spots on the couch. Now Clint joked that it was their version of The Central Perk from _Friends_, Tony said that made Clint into a literal version of Chandler. Clint denied it all the way, saying that he was Joey.

"I have the charm, the talent," Clint said, then he took on a mock accent, "C'mon admit it, I'm a Tribbiani."

"One, you're still Chandler, cause you are awkward as fuck and are far from having your life in order. Two, as a native New Yorker, I am offended at the _atrocity_ of that fake accent. Shunning you starting... now," Tony said.

Steve hummed in agreement, Bucky in tow mumbling, "Hear, hear," behind his mug. Now that Clint noticed, Bucky was the only one with a mug out of the whole group. Who the fuck uses mugs at a coffee shop? Who the fuck used the mugs at _Starbucks? _He didn't even know Starbucks had mugs. What? Why?

Then it started all to connect. His scarf, his jacket, his gloves, always in a pair of skinny jeans and ankle boots.

Jesus fucking Christ, Bucky was a hipster. Didn't even look like Bucky knew he was a hipster. A cute one too though, Clint wasn't going to lie.

Huh. That was something he didn't see coming. He didn't really mind.

"Okay, but this leads to an important question; who would we be, in Friends?" said hipster asked.

"I'm obviously Joey," Tony said while Clint whined and pouted in the background that _no I'm Joey, Stark is a huge dick_, with Nat telling him to shut up, "Thor is Phoebe. Bruce is Monica. Natasha is also Monica. Legolas is Chandler."

"What about us?" Steve asked, gesturing to him and Bucky.

"Easy, Steve is obviously Ross, but with art. And Bucky is definitely Rachel."

Bucky choked on his drink. "First of all, how in the hell does that work in your head?" he asked. "Second, why?"

"Easy; both of you tend to exaggerate a lot, care about your looks, and the hair cut."

"Oh my god, _the haircut,_" Bruce said, just noticing.

"He actually has a point," Natasha pointed out.

Bucky was baffled. He _so _did not have _the haircut_. "Woah, woah, woah! Back the fuck up. I don't have the haircut. And besides I like looking nice... unlike some other people that don't match," he said. "And I don't exaggerate."

This time, Steve glared at him. "Are you really sure about that?" he asked.

Bucky just glared back at him.

"Okay, fine. So how am I Ross?" Steve asked.

"You nerd out over art, that's why," Tony made the connection. "Too easy."

"Just out of curiosity, why are you using a mug?" Clint asked Bucky.

"Because I am a free citizen of this country and I can use whichever beverage holder I damn well please," Bucky stated, sipping at his bright red ceramic mug with his gloved hand.

Steve coughed loudly, not bothering to hide the "Hipster!" he directed at Bucky.

Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Fuck off, you iced Americano."

A cold silence passed in the group.

"So that's how it's gonna be," Steve said cooly.

"Oh come on! It was one time!" Bucky said, before adding, "A year! One time per year!"

Now Clint was genuinely curious, "Care to tell the class?" he asked.

Steve pointed to Bucky with his thumb and said, "This asshole gangs up with Sam every year for my birthday. And they have the audacity to douse me in two big ass buckets of ice, that's half melted, so it's ice water. They call it the Iced Americano because my birthday is on the 4th of July. But I'm not just saying they do it outside, no. They break into my house, _wake_ me up in my own room, in my own bed, by pouring those two ice buckets on me."

"We take him to Coney Island as an apology!" Bucky said.

"That's cold, Barnes," Tony said. "Literally."

Steve held both his hands up, "Whatever. I have a new project coming up, so if you excuse me," he pulled out a thick textbook from his backpack and a set of headphones.

"I think you made him angry," Bruce said to Bucky.

"It'll wear off," Bucky shrugged.

Though this group had one thing that _Friends_ didn't.

A bitchy barista.

A goddamn bitchy barista.

Well, the bitchy barista had a name. Loki Laufeyson. And when he wasn't being bitchy, he was, well, a bitch. He was mostly a bastard when he is outside of work, where he couldn't get fired. See, Loki got bored really easily, and liked to get creative. And it usually ended up being a mildly annoying thing or a very dangerous thing for the person he set his sights on.

What his deal with the world was, Clint didn't know. He didn't ask either. And didn't really care.

What he did know, due to Tony telling him (because he is the not so secret, secrets whore, who lived on knowing everything about everyone. At least he had the dignity to not spread it around the whole campus and kept it to himself. Though it was also sadly guaranteed he might use it for blackmail material.) about, something that Clint would never have guessed.

It was that Loki was Thor's younger _adopted_ brother.

It explained a whole lot.

But of course, it did not excuse his shitty personality.

Apparently, Clint also had to tolerate the long dark-haired bastard, no matter how much he wanted to just shoot arrows into both of his eye sockets. And that was, not because Clint hated himself and decided that he was going to willingly tolerate Loki. No, but it was due to the fact that Thor was a really good friend that happened to really care for his little brother.

And Clint cared a lot for his friends.

And seeing him looked like a kicked puppy was something he never wanted to see ever again.

Ever.

That was too damn sad. Internet cat videos had to be involved.

So every time Clint walked into the Starbucks, he had to remind himself, over and over.

_You're doing this for Thor, Clint. You got this. Don't throttle Loki. Don't throttle Loki, don't fucking throttle Loki._

Something Clint had learned from Bucky when they first met was that Natasha helped him learn Russian phrases. He knew enough to say hello, goodbye, I wasn't doing anything wrong, and more importantly, enough to call Loki names and not be detected.

Thing was that Loki bitched at everyone. Including Thor, but eventually, he had to let out a long sigh and let himself take Loki's verbal waves about the world around him. How he was better than everyone, shit like that. He had to know a lot more about Loki than anyone else knew so be able to take it all with a (forced) smile and a joke.

Somehow, Tony turned out to be the only person who could talk to Loki, if that's what you would call what they really just said assholelike things to each other. And as weird as it was, it worked. Tony could speak Loki-niese and was often made the spokesperson of the group to go deal with him.

And then there was Peter the Pizza guy.

They had some weird friendship, truce, alliance, thing that was apparently part of a college bonding experience. Clint didn't know what the hell he should call it. Natasha had later on explained it to Clint about how some businesses on campus did a thing where they basically exchanged products to each other in an act of friendship.

He thought it was just because everyone was plain broke.

And as luck, or a curse, would have it, the pizzeria that Peter worked with got partnered up with the only Starbucks on campus.

When Steve found out, he did everything in his power to not have Peter be influenced, or corrupted in Bucky's words, by Loki. But it didn't work. Peter on occasion, was also a little shit, though not on Loki's scale. Harmless pranks, and just a lot of sass.

They also had a strange friendship. To Clint's knowledge, they occasionally shared hot dogs. Nothing too bad. Peter was safe. The kid could handle himself, he was tough.

"Decaf venti for Birdbrain," Loki called out.

Now today, Loki decided it was fuck with Clint day. Because Clint's life just hated him for some reason. And because Clint had been at the damn coffee shop before, countless of times, and they all knew he never, ever, ever ordered decaf.

"Yo asshole, that isn't my order," Clint said, fuming at Loki in front of the customer service area. "I ordered a black coffee, venti."

"Oh, my apologies. I will make you another," was all Loki said as he went back to make another coffee, with a glint in his eyes and a smirk on his face that Clint certainly did not like.

Not one bit.

"And you know my name, Loki. It's Clint. C-L-I-N-T. Or Barton. Not fucking birdbrain," Clint said.

He went back to the couch, frustrated. Out of all the days, Loki decided it was today to be shit.

A few minutes later, Loki called out with an evil smile, "For Tweedy Bird! A Venti. Black, like my soul."

Clint went to retrieve his coffee, telling Loki in full bitchface, "You have no soul."

"Have a great day!" Loki ended the exchange, mischief glowing in his eyes and a too big grin on his features showing off his white teeth. Like a shark about to catch his prey.

Clint shivered at the creepy asshole and resisted the urge to flip him off. He took the coffee back to his seat and set it onto the table, knowing that he was too pissed off to drink it yet.

Bucky burst out laughing, when Clint came back to the couch and set the coffee on the table, glaring at it.

"What?"

Bucky kept laughing.

"What? Come on, man. Tell me."

Still laughing too hard to say anything, Bucky pointed to the side of the cup facing him, where the customer's name usually went.

Clint turned the cup to face him.

He should have seen this coming.

The bitchy barista strikes again.

Fuck.

Instead of what it was supposed to be "CLINT", his cup actually said "CUNT" right there on the side in black bold letters.

The reactions on Clint's side of the couch varied from Natasha trying to stifle a giggle to Bruce raising an amused eyebrow. Bucky the useless hipster just kept laughing his useless hipster ass off. Tony joining in, giving Loki a thumbs up from his armchair. Loki did a mini bow with a hand flourish to Tony's praise. Steve was too engrossed in his art textbook to be paying attention. Douchebag really was Ross.

Clint simply said "I'm going to throttle Loki, and you guys are assholes."

Like the British bastard didn't know how to spell his damn name. He turned to glare at the swarmy prick, who only waved and grinned innocently. Like he was ever innocent in his whole damn life.

Clint learned many things during that short while; he was still Joey, Loki was still a bitch, and Tony was a fucking Loki apologist.

He still drank the damn coffee anyways.


	4. Goddammit Bucky

**A/N: Hey y'all! We're baaaaaack! And yes, I know it's not girl scout season, but we started this during girl scout season, and because we're Friends fan trash, this was also inspired from that episode where Ross accidentally broke a girl scouts leg. So, for the sake of this fic, girl scout cookies season is during the fall. Alright? Alright. I speak from experience: my sisters are girl scouts and we did sales. Anyway, this is gonna be a full fledged arc, so expect more! **

**As always, we do not own Marvel or associated girl scout things mentioned here. And we threw in some more cameos. This fic ain't dead y'all! It's gonna be one hell of a ride. :D enjoy!**

Goddammit Bucky

Clint woke up to his phone buzzing on his bedside table, his alarm.

Oh right.

Class.

He sat up, untangling his legs from his comforter, and rubbing at his eyes getting the sleep out of them.

He tapped his phone once and the alarm quit buzzing.

He fell back in bed to sleep.

Ten minutes later, the alarm buzzed again, almost more insistently. He groaned out loud, tapped the alarm off, and began cursing whoever thought to have this class this early in the morning.

Oh right that was him. Trying to get his life in check. Ha.

Haha. His life was a joke that was still waiting on the punchline.

He pulled the comforter again over his head, half expecting the phone to go off again instead it went off with a new message, it showed it was from Kate.

**I miss you.**

Quickly, he typed out a reply.

_I miss you too, kid._

Kate Bishop was like a little sister to him. Ever since Phil Coulson took him in at fourteen, he and Kate had been inseparable. She was Phil's niece from her mother's side, and had been living with him after somethings went down with her family. Clint had an idea of what happened, but didn't push to ask her. Soon she had become Clint's sister. Not by blood, but Clint learned that the best family didn't have to be.

Currently, Kate was a senior in high school, the same one that Clint had graduated from a couple of years ago.

**Are you barely awake?**

_Yep._

**You're gonna be late to class!**

_Go big or go home._

Yeah, Kate had her life together at 17 more than he did in his 20's.

Ha-fucking-ha.

**I'm going to show up each Tuesday morning to dunk your head in ice water.**

_Please don't. _

He knew she would. Shit, she had. Well now he remembered that he had something in common with Steve. That was an unpleasant way to wake up. God knows how Phil didn't get tired of their bullshit.

**Then get your ass out of bed!**

_Go to class._

**Bitch, I am in class. YOU should go to class. And get dressed. I don't want you to scar your professor with the sight of you in your boxers.**

_No._

**Lazy ass. Oh and America says hi.**

_Tell her I said to do her work._

**She said you should go fuck yourself.**

_Ahhhh Chavez. I miss her. _

**She said "Go to class, pendejo!"**

_Yo no hablo Español._

**Ugh, you're a lost case. **

_And you know it. Kate, I'm going to try to be a productive member of society. _

**I'm mildly proud and ashamed, but I love you. Get to class.**

_Yes ma'am. 3_

oOo

"James, what did you just do?" Natasha asked.

Bucky held his forehead and mumbled into the phone.

"You broke a kid's leg?!"

"It was an accident!" Bucky exclaimed. "I didn't see her go up the stairs behind all the boxes she was carrying! It wasn't my fault!"

"It was your fault! You broke a little girl's leg!" Natasha practically yelled. "Did you at least get her to the emergency room?"

"Yeah," Bucky sighed, running his non gloved hand through his hair. "I did. She's gonna be fine, they're calling her parents right now."

"Jesus," Natasha said, exasperated. "Goddammit Barnes, goddammit."

"Not like I did it on purpose!"

"You fucked up, Barnes."

"I know, I know," Bucky sighed, she only called him by his last name when she was mad at him. "What do I do now?"

"Well, you better do anything you can to make this up to her. Because you fucked up. Big time." Natasha hung up.

Bucky sighed and slid down the wall and onto the floor.

He truly fucked up.

oOo

On the few occasions Clint got to hang out with Thor was when they shared their Genetics class. They both needed a science class, but had signed up late, so there they were in Genetics.

The class itself had been taught by an aging professor that had to retire after a hip injury early in the semester. Her replacement was a kind, charismatic man with an English accent. Professor Charles Xavier, graduate from Oxford, and extremely enthusiastic about genetics. Most especially in mutations. Clint had learned that even his extremely good eyesight was a mutation and if that's not the tightest shit ever then get out of my face. He had his own superpower, it might not be as cool as the buff blonds that were Steve and Thor or even Tony and Bruce's superbrain or Pepper's unbelievable patience with Tony, but it was his, and it helped him be the best damn archer ever.

The medals on the wall proved it all.

Charles used a wheelchair and wore a wedding ring, but above all, he has passion. Even though Clint wasn't going to be in the science field, having Charles as a teacher made the subject enjoyable. Whoever he was married to, they were one hell of a lucky person. He had two assistants: a scientist named Jean Grey and an undergrad named Hank McCoy.

"I feel like I bombed this test."

"But fortunately, I am mighty," Thor said as the Jean was passing back their graded scantrons.

"What did you get?" Clint asked as he looked at his own grade. It wasn't an A but he passed the test with an 84.

Thor looked down at the paper and had a small frown. Quickly, he tried to brush it off with, "A grade is only a number, it can not truly tell the worth of a person." It really wasn't helping that Thor was hiding the side that held the grade. Thor tried to brush it off after seeing the score. He stuffed the scantron into his bag as class was dismissed.

"Bullshit, what'd you get?" Clint asked as they were in the hallway.

"It is not important, the professor does drop one grade from the semester."

"Tell me Hammer-head." Thor looked away from Clint, "Oh it's that bad huh?"

"No. I just believe..." Thor was cut off by Clint sneaking his test out of his unzipped backpack.

"Oh man! I see what you're talking about..." Thor had gotten a fifty. Damn. "Hey didn't you like stay up really late studying with Jane?"

"Well..."

"You guys didn't even study did you? Nah, you guys went straight to Smooch City."

"Genetics isn't really her subject."

"Whatever you say big guy. Whatever you say."

oOo

"I am so sorry, Ms. Cho." Bucky once again apologized to the girl and her mother.

Looking at the upset girl in the hospital bed, Bucky kneeled down beside it face to face with the girl, "Hey kid, it's gonna be alright."

"It's just...I can't sell anymore cookies like this, I wanted to go to this camp. This summer, it's in Pennsylvania, if you sell a certain amount of cookies you get to go for free."

"What's your name kid?"

"Kim."

"Well Kim, I'm gonna sell them for you. All of them. I got this," Bucky squeezed her hand with his flesh arm. "I'm really sorry all of this happened, but I'm gonna make it up to you. And you will go to that camp in Pennsylvania. You have my word."

"You would do that for me?" the young girl asked.

"Darn right. It's the least I can do, now that you're out of commission. I'll sell all of them."

Kims face lit up and she gleefully clapped. "Yay! Thank you so much!"

"So how many boxes do I have to sell?"

"350."

Bucky felt his face visibly pale, and his stomach fell, but he still nodded. "Piece of cake. I'm gonna do it. You, Kim Cho will be going to summer camp." he said.

oOo

On his way to his apartment Clint felt his phone buzz with a new message from Bucky. He stopped at a red light to see them.

**Hey Clint**

_What's up?_

**I broke a kids leg**

_You did WHAT?!_

**It was an accident! And I need help. Just please, come when you can.**

_Where do you live?_

**I live off campus with Steve. It was cheaper.**

_No idea where he lives._

Bucky responded by sending him the address, along with about twelve crying emojis.

Hipster drama queen.

_On my way._

oOo

Clint arrived hearing Steve and Bucky's voices coming from an open door, and he let himself in. What he saw was Sam sitting back watching the two best friends argue.

"Oh my god, Rogers, you son of a bitch. Where are my cigarettes?"

"Remember, I have asthma," Steve reminded.

"Steve, you haven't had an asthma attack since tenth grade!"

"Still! It can be triggered!"

"You're in fucking _football!"_

"Alright, what the fuck is going on?" Clint asked.

Looking at the arguing roommates once, Sam shrugged. "I don't know, I'm just enjoying some thin mints," he said nonchalantly. Clint knew that look. It was the same one Pepper used when she heard a few explosions from the shared lab between Bruce and Tony. All too used to it. "Those two argue about smoking at least twice a week."

"I'm really strung out right now, I need something to take the edge off," Bucky said. And surely enough, he was a mess. Half of his hair was hanging out of his ponytail, his shirt was on inside out, and he looked a minute away from a meltdown.

"You brought this upon yourself, Bucky. You were the one who broke the kid's leg."

"For fucks sake, it was an accident! It wasn't like I saw the little girl with a pile of boxes and pushed her down the stairs."

"If you would have seen her, you wouldn't have had her break her leg."

"Oh my god, Steve, you're killing me,"

"No, I'm actually saving you,"

"Care to share a few?" Clint asked Sam, gesturing to the cookies.

"Go ahead,"

"Dude, smoking can kill you. Next time I see you light one up, I'm gonna take it out with a fire extinguisher, and then hit you with that extinguisher in the head."

_Jesus, Rogers is extreme_, Clint thought. _America's golden boy, more like America's low key savage._

"That would kill me!"

"If anything is gonna kill you, it's gonna be me and at least it wouldn't be from smoking."

"Steve for fucks sake, this is not the time,"

"So, why am I here again?" Clint asked.

Barely noticing him, Bucky groaned. "Oh my god, I forgot I asked you to come. I'm so sorry, you can leave if you want to. This is just a really bad day, I'm going to take a long nap. Maybe cry a little."

"Uh, no. I'm not gonna waste gas. What in the actual hell is going on here?"

"I broke a girl scouts leg," Bucky started, glaring at Steve and adding in a louder voice, "On ACCIDENT." He redirected his attention to Clint. "And I promised her to sell all of her cookies so she can go to camp. Least I can do for her."

"And how does that bring me into the picture?"

"I need help to sell the boxes."

"How many are there"

"350."

"Holy _shit!"_

"Yeah, this kid really wants to go to camp. I mean, they're $5 a box, so it isn't that bad. But it's still a fuckload of boxes."

"Damn right it's a fuckload of boxes. You can feed an army with it!"

"Are you in?"

"To help a kid go to summer camp and redeem yourself?" Clint asked, "I'm in."

"So, who and who is gonna help sell"

"I really haven't thought this through. But so far, Natasha was yelling at me while I was at the hospital with the kid, so she might not want to see me for a couple of hours. Or days. Do you have any ideas?"

"Alright, we can sell on campus. We can start with getting the word out, set up a table by Starbucks and sell outside. Find the stoners, they'll want munchies. Hit the places with higher traffic, easy and done."

"Will it work?"

"Yeah. I used to sell candy bars with my sister Kate when she was still in volleyball, we did door to door sales."

Clint remembered. They couldn't stop quoting the chocolate episode from Spongebob for weeks and Phil got so mad. He wouldn't talk to them until they stopped.

"I am contributing to the cause," Sam handed Bucky five dollars and grabbed another box for himself.

oOo

"You do know if you keep tapping your foot that way, there's gonna be a hole, right?" Clint asked Bucky as they were sitting in his car.

"Shit, my bad."

"Hey man, what's up?" Clint asked.

"I'm such a shitty person." Bucky sighed.

Oh yeah, Steve was being a dick.

"But hey, you're not a shitty person. Like you said, it was an accident and you're gonna make it up for the kid," Clint said. "You got nothing to be ashamed of."

"It's not that, I mean, it kind of is that. But Steve overreacts sometimes about my smoking. I know he doesn't like it, so I always do it outside our apartment. I mean, it's not like I chain smoke a pack a day. I only do it when I'm stressed or really really high strung."

"I know he's your best friend and all, but Steve was being kind of a dick."

"Like I get that he's looking out for me like I used to do for him, but I'm an adult, I think I can handle one cigarette. Been handling them for a few years now."

"Ah man, Steve is gonna hate me, but fuck it. You're a mess right now."

"What?"

"I think I have a pack in my glove compartment," Clint said. "I don't promise they'll be any good, but it's better than nothing."

"I thought you didn't smoke."

"I don't. But Natasha does, once in every blue moon, so I keep a few for her."

Bucky sighed in relief, "Thank you so much."

"No problem. God, I'm a terrible influence."

"Says the non smoker," Bucky said, lighting up a cigarette. "So I didn't know you have a sister."

"Well, Kate and I aren't actually related, but she's the closest thing I have to a real family. Her uncle Phil took me in when I was younger and we've been family ever since. She's a brat, but she knows her way around a bow. She's pretty cool."

Bucky lowered the window and blew out the smoke, anxiety etched in his features. It stirred something in Clint. He didn't want to see Bucky upset. He hated seeing people he cared about upset.

He felt the urge to hug Bucky until he felt better.

_Whoa, whoa, whoa,_ _slow down there Hawkeye, put that thing back where it came from. _

Clint recovered quickly from that, and redirected his attention back to the hipster sitting in his passenger seat.

"Bucky, cmon man, look at me." Clint reached across the seat to squeeze Bucky's knee.

Bucky reluctantly turned to face him.

"You're gonna be okay." Clint promised. "We're gonna be the best damn girl scouts New York has ever seen."

oOo

The small fold out table was easy enough to carry. So were the fold out stools. And setting up the cookies was nothing at all. It looked like everything was gonna be hassle free.

Until.

_Ah shit, this bitch. _

"Well, if it isn't his royal majesty of the cold hearted bitches himself!" Clint loudly proclaimed.

Thor wasn't around, and neither was the Loki apologist also known as Tony Stark. Therefore, he didn't give a fuck. Loki was the bastard who wrote CUNT on his coffee, also who tried to blackmail him on other occasions, so fuck common courtesy.

"Always so nice to see you too, Barton," Loki said with a slick, faux kindness.

The mutual hate was equal between them, with same cold snark and venom in all their conversations, and sometimes mild death threats between sentences. It was oddly beautiful. A dance of words.

The snark to snark combat wasn't really taken to heart, though. Loki treated it like it was a game. A game that he was pretty sure Loki was winning. Clint wasn't surprised. This was the master trickster himself, but like hell he would let this chance slide.

"To what do I owe this utter displeasure?"

"You can't sell your little juvenile biscuits on Starbucks property," Loki said.

"Says who?"

"Says the rules and regulations handbook."

"Bullshit."

"I can call security and have them look it up for you if you wish."

Bucky, too worn out by the day, wearily tugged on Clint's arm and said, "Clint, just let it go. C'mon, we can sell somewhere else."

"Listen to your boyfriend, Barton. He has a point."

"Loki, you're just being a dick. As usual. We're gonna sell these damn cookies, and you're not going to stop us."

"You're on Starbucks property, which means I can."

Clint picked up the table, careful to not mess with the cookie display and slid it forward a few inches from the sidewalk, being in front of the bushes rather than the side of them. Off the Starbucks sidewalk.

"Are we on the property now?" Clint challenged.

Loki opened his mouth once and closed, for once, at a loss for words. His green eyes glaring dagger at them.

"What's that sound?" Clint asked. "Oh right, it's the sound of me SCORING on your ass."

"This won't be the last time, Barton," Loki glowered, walking away.

"Damn right it isn't! But today, you don't win! Not today, Satan! Not today!" Clint called out, flipping off Loki. Loki just fumed and mumbled something that was either in archaic English or some other language.

"You sure love to kick the hornet's nest don't you," Bucky said.

"He said that we can't be on their property, so we aren't."

"Do you like being in the constant state between life and death?"

"If it means insulting Loki and winning, I'll knock on death's door every day."

"Hello boys," Darcy greeted as she walked up to their table.

"Ah, Darcy Lewis, the queen," Clint greeted, taking Darcy's hand and pressing a kiss on her knuckles.

Darcy Lewis was a charming, fun person to be around. A local on campus celebrity on the social networks, also a friend in Clint's circle. She was a blogger, a feminist, always up to par with everything going on on campus, best friends with Jane Foster, the genius. Darcy Lewis, she was the kiss bandit, one who loved and enjoyed physical affection. And Clint gladly gave it to her.

"Queen I am," Darcy agreed. "So, what are you guys selling?"

"Girl Scout cookies. For a good cause." Clint informed her.

"No one wants to buy cookies," Bucky sighed. "This is starting to feel hopeless."

"Thin Mints?" Darcy asked. "Dude, those are my shit! How much?"

"$5."

"I will take five boxes,"

"Will you promo us on your blog? Or twitter?"

"Anything for my loyal subjects." Darcy pulled out her phone and turned on her front camera to record.

"Hey guys, my bitches over here are selling girl scout cookies on campus! They're in front of Starbucks, $5 a box! This week only!" She yelled out, and Clint was sure those very words would be floating around the internet as soon as she left them.

"Darce, you're a babe."

"Damn right I am," Darcy smiled and leaned over to kiss Clint's cheek. "See ya later. And good luck with the sales!"

"Is she your girlfriend?" Bucky asked once Darcy was out of earshot.

"Nah, she's just my friend," Clint replied. It wasn't the first time people mistook Darcy's actions with Clint as romantic. It didn't bother either of them.

"I've seen her around," Bucky said. "I just never had a name to the face."

Clint tried to ignore how dejected Bucky looked as he checked his phone. Probably expecting an apology or something from Steve.

"You want to crash at my place after all of this? You need a break from your roommate."

"As long as I'm not intruding."

"You'd never."

oOo

"Holy shit, I'll be damned. It's Clint Barton, actually out in the open. Not cooped up in his apartment. Not hiding out in his nest. Not falling from fire escapes. He's here, actually being a productive member of society!" Tony exclaimed in faux shock. "Pinch me, this has to be a dream. Or worse, it's the apocalypse!"

"Jesus, you're worse than Kate."

"I'll tell her you said so. How goes sales?"

"The thin mints are selling like crack," Bucky said, looking over the inventory. "But the samoas are all alone, with no one to take them home."

"Then I'm taking nine samoas," Tony said. "Yes, nine. Not two, like basic bitches, but nine."

"You're the most basic bitch I know."

"They're not all for me, though. Four are for Bruce," Tony said. Bucky raised his eyebrow. "What? He's a science stoner and he's got the munchies."

"True." Clint agreed remembering how Bruce ate his whole kitchen once. Not that there was much in there to begin with. "So four for Bruce and five for the basic bitch it is."

"What's the sign for telling you to go fuck yourself?" Tony asked.

Clint proceeded to show them. Taking in the small pleasure of flipping Tony off.

"You know sign language?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah. I'm actually deaf," Clint gestured to the hearing aids in his ear. "I use hearing aids."

"That I designed, while learning ASL so I can keep bugging this asshole even if he can't hear me," Tony added.

"Woah."

Tony had designed his hearing aids a year ago as a side project. He wanted to try medical engineering as a minor and in result, came the hearing aids. It was a gift to Clint and it was what solidified their friendship. Not that many people saw it, but Tony Stark had a heart.

It also helped that Tony was great friends Kate and had a banter-esque friendship with Phil. He was a good person to have in life, and Clint trusted him.

Sure, he didn't trust him enough to sleep in the same room with him due to him drawing dicks on his face, but the trust was still there.

He knew this because it had happened once and it only took cornering Tony with an arrow aimed straight at his throat so he would delete the pictures. Clint had to hide at home for a few days till the ink had washed off.

Tony always had money, he was also a rich bitch. He handed over two twenties and a five, winked and said to "Keep the change." Bucky rolled his eyes.

Later on, a pretty girl with long brown hair approached the table. She wore a red jacket with a black dress, black knee-highs and boots, with different rings on each finger.

"Excuse me, are you selling cookies?" She had an accent, a cute one too.

"Yes ma'am we are," Clint said with a smile. "Would you like one?"

"Yes, a thin mint," she asked. "Oh, um, a box of thin mints, please," she giggled. "Sorry, English isn't my first language."

"Nothing to apologize for, cutie." Clint smiled at her, as she gave him her money and he handed her a box of thin mints.

She departed with a smile and a, "Thank you."

"Flirting for the money," Bucky smirked.

"I'm just being my charming usual self," Clint said, dismissing Bucky's statement.

"So you were being charming with Loki?"

"Damn right, I'm that irresistible."

"Sure you are."

"Damn, she's so cute," Clint said.

"She is. How come you're not gonna go for it?"

"My interests currently aren't in women."

"Holy shit, are you bi?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Same here!"

"High five!"

And so they did.

oOo

"Loki, what the fuck?!" Bucky exclaimed after Loki just picked up two boxes of cookies and walked away. It must have been at the end of his shift, because he did not look like he was coming back.

"Do not fret, my friend, I'll pay," Thor pulled out his wallet and handed Bucky two twenties. "And Jane said she would like three thin mints. And three dos y dos boxes for me please."

"Coming right up big guy."

"You stocking up for the winter?" Bucky asked.

"Nay, my friend. Jane is helping me study."

"Studying for what? _Anatomy?" _Clint asked, smirking. Bucky frowned, confused at the tone Clint was taking.

"At least I have someone to study with," Thor said slyly.

Clint went stone faced, "Dude, not cool."

Again, Bucky frowned at the eye narrowing from Clint and mumbling as Thor took his many boxes and walked away.

oOo

Back at Clint's apartment, Bucky crashed hard on the couch. The man was out like a light.

Of course.

He had a long day, he didn't even bother to take his gloves off or even his shoes.

Clint got the folded throw over he kept on the couch for such occasions and threw it over Bucky. He immediately saw the brunet relax, unconsciously feeling more comfortable in it. It had been a long day for them both. Bucky especially.

The thing about Bucky is that he put others needs in front of his. He cared too much. Steve's berating took a toll on him, and it didn't help that Natasha and Steve were being negative about the whole situation.

Clint felt the urge to hug him again. The same urge that came to him in the car when he saw Bucky upset. The stress load that was Loki, the bitching that came from Steve. Poor guy needed a break.

He saw the empty cases shoved in a corner and the rest on the ground.

Day one: a fucking success.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys but We hope that you all found it was worth it. Thanks for reading! Reviews/comments are welcome. :***


	5. Gotta Go Fast

**We are back! As always, comments are welcome. Enjoy!**

* * *

Gotta Go Fast

* * *

Bucky slept the whole night.

At least that's what Clint could tell.

Clint was thinking of at least breaking out the cold beers that were in his fridge and maybe watching some movies with Bucky. Now that he thought about it, he really didn't get a chance to hang out with the long haired hipster in a while.

But that could be for another time, considering the fact that Bucky was out like a light on his couch. Didn't even bother to take his boots off.

With careful efficiency, Clint took off his boots and set them to the side of the couch. He found a blanket he kept around when he didn't want to go sleep in his bed and threw it over the hipster.

That might be better.

So, after a short shower and answering some text messages about cookie sales from Darcy, he went to bed.

He woke up to an unknown number texting him.

**How's Bucky doing?**

Uh.

Clint hesitated. Who was this

It couldn't be Steve, since he was on his phone as Captain Dorito, or even Natasha, who had the sushi emoji.

New hotline, who dis

**It's Sam Wilson. Sorry, I got your number from Steve's phone.**

Oh ok, hey Sam, whats up. As if for bucky, I guess he's fine. Well, i mean steve was being a total dick to him so he's still kind of upset. well, at least I think he is. or was. idk he passed out on my couch.

**Oh yeah, Bucky tends to do that. Sleeping away his frustrations. You should see him during midterms.**

I can imagine.

**Anyways, I'm just making sure he's okay. Steve was being a dick, and I'm getting him to see the light. Force feeding him thin mints as a reminder of the good things in life.**

At the mental image, Clint snickered to himself.

Lmao, nice. I will let bucky know you asked for him. Poor guy has been stressed to no end.

**Thanks Hawkeye.**

No prob Falcon.

* * *

Kate Bishop knew her sort of adopted brother didn't really have his life together. She also knew that he had the tendency to do really stupid shit. It was only the right thing to do to check up on him every once and awhile, it spared Phil the time to do so. And if it annoyed him then that was a bonus. She was his little sister, it was her job.

Bucky had been asleep on Clint's couch, until someone kicked his right leg that was hanging off the side. In his not so awake state, he jumped, startled and his arm swung onto his nose.

"Fuck!" he hissed out.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the girl making sure the blond asshole who lives here is still alive and not dead in a ditch. You?"

"I'm the guy that makes sure that said asshole is in one piece and not falling down stairs or some shit."

"So how's that going?"

Bucky sighed loudly.

"Exactly."

"How the ever loving fresh fuck is he still alive or still has all of his limbs?"

"No idea. Hi, I'm Kate."

"Oh yeah, Clint's mentioned you."

"Better be good things."

"Actually he calls you a brat that knows her way around a bow," Bucky said, hissing to himself as his hand massaged his nose. He uttered curses under his breath, tucking his hair back behind his ears.

"He's correct about the archery part. The brat part is mostly him talking about himself."

"Kate, what the fuck are you doing here?" Clint asked as he walked in from his room, his hair sticking up in a disheveled mess.

"Skipped today."

"Are you serious?"

"Just kidding, there was a gas leak so they cancelled school for today."

Behind her trailed in America Chavez, her hair pulled back in a loose bun.

"Oh. If it isn't Hawkass."

"Ah, America, it's always fun to see you."

America raised her eyebrow and scoffed at Clint mockingly. "It isn't," she said bluntly to Clint.

"It really isn't."

Clint knew this exchange like the back of his hand.

Shrugging to himself, he headed to the kitchen to make some coffee in the poor slightly broken down coffee pot. Poor thing had seen better days.

Bucky followed Clint into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "So, did I sleep the whole night?" His voice was hoarse from disuse, bleary from the recent awakening.

"Yeah."

"Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it."

Clint waved him away. "Don't worry about it, Bucky. You needed the sleep. I think there's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet. You don't have class today?"

"Nah."

"Well, kids, I don't know about you, but I'm going to class. Make yourselves at home, for like, four hours."

"Kate, don't bully Bucky," Clint deadpanned.

"I would never," Kate said.

* * *

"So. You're selling girl scout cookies?" Kate asked.

"Hook me up!" America exclaimed, searching through the boxes to find one of her favorites. "Princess, can you buy it for me?"

"Sure," Kate said. "So like, are you a girl scout?" she asked to Bucky.

"No."

"Your sister is a girl scout?" Kate asked again, just as America finally found her purchase and exclaimed "Aha!" in victory.

"It's a long story…"

* * *

Kate was a goddamn professional.

Once Bucky had told her the situation, she immediately got into a course of action to sell the cookies. She knew what the hell she was doing and how to go about the sales.

America followed suit and helped also. Kate had stuffed Bucky and some of the cases of cookies into her car, dropping him off at his place.

Thankfully, Steve wasn't home.

Finally, he got a chance to look at himself at the mirror and he winced.

Jesus Christ, he was a _mess. _

He had the misfortune of smacking himself in the face with his metal arm and holy _fuck, _that hurt. A lot. It left a faint bruise on the bridge of his nose, but it would go away. He had gone through this so many times, he isn't even shocked anymore, but it was like stepping on a lego. You know it will happen if you're not careful, you know how it feels like, but jesus fucking christ, when it happens, it hurts like a BITCH.

Bucky went into his bathroom, stripping of his clothes and glove. Turning on the shower and setting the water to the right temperature, he stepped under the spray.

He felt the warm water run down his face and saw drops rolling down his prosthetic arm. He flexed his fingers, what with having been in a glove all day and night long. It was less restraining now, less to hide.

Showers were one of the few things that Bucky valued the most in the world. The muscles in his back lost tension, warmth relieving them of the stress. Closing his eyes, Bucky leaned his head against the tile and let out a long sigh that he didn't know he was holding.

Why was he a human disaster?

He knew it was an accident and he knew that he was trying his best to fix it. But Steve just being a dick about it. Fuck. He didn't expect that, of all people. Steve was his best friend since before they hit the double digits, and now, he hit him with this?

Well, in a way, Bucky did deserve it.

But ugh. What the hell could he say? He was doing everything possible to help the little girl get her summer camp activity. It was his fault and he knew it, but he was doing _something _to fix it. He wasn't just sitting around on his ass and feeling bad for himself. It took some prying and more than often reassurance. Come on, he already had anxiety. And he was a Pisces, constant validation was engraved into his DNA.

And now, Clint. A guy he met a few weeks ago and didn't even know that much. A talented archer, who offered right away to help him. Then came Kate and America.

Steve being an asshole, Clint stepping in and helping him feel better.

Just what the fuck is going on?

Bucky groaned to himself and rubbed shampoo into his hair, hoping that his troubles would wash away into the drain, but he needed to be realistic. It would never happen.

* * *

Following Kate's instructions, Bucky started selling door to door in his building.

"Director Fury?"

"Barnes?"

"I didn't know you lived here."

"I didn't know you were a girl scout."

Bucky sighed. He really needed to get rid of the vest. "Nevermind that, I'm selling cookies. Are you interested?" he asked.

"Does it look like I want to buy some damn cookies?" Fury glowered angrily, making Bucky shrink away for a few moments. He paused, glancing around in the hallway, checking that the coast was clear.

"What kind you got?"

"Thin mints, Dos y dos, and Tagalongs," If Bucky was told three days ago that he was going to be carrying a box full of cookies and wearing a bright mint green sash in the hallways, he would have not believed it. If he was also told that he was going to be selling to the freaking _director _of the university, he would not have believed it also.

"Why are you selling?"

"I owe a favor to a friend."

Fury just looked at him.

"It isn't against the rules, right?"

"As long as you're not trafficking people or drugs, I really don't care. What you kids do on your free time isn't none of my concern," the Director pulled out a ten. "I'll take two tagalongs."

"Thank you sir," Bucky handed him the two boxes. Before he shut the door, he said, "Oh and Director? Nothing happened. You didn't see me wearing this sash, I didn't see you buying girl scout cookies."

"Done deal, Barnes. Done deal."

* * *

Kate had handed Clint a semi thick wad of cash once he got out of Calculus.

"Sold thirty seven boxes," she said. "You're welcome."

"Jeez fucking louise, how did you do it?"

America leaned her arm onto Kate's shoulder. "We are very good negotiators," Kate said.

"We ran into one of our stoner friends," America translated. "And their stoner friends had more stoner friends. We had to Febreeze ourselves on the way here. Hey, no school. Kids have free time."

Clint sighed and shrugged, "Well, money is money."

"What are you doing next?"

"I'm going to Natasha's place and help Bucky redeem himself so he won't get hanged," Clint said. "You wanna come with?"

"We're good. Billy texted me about a surprise party he was throwing and he needed our help. So I'm out."

Clint bent down and hugged Kate. "Sorry that I didn't get a chance to hang out with ya today," he said. "Shit happens."

"It's okay. Let me know when you're free of being an adult," Kate said, breaking the hug.

"We'll see," Clint said. He turned to America, "And to you, Miss Chavez, stay in school."

"Didn't you skip the other day?" America asked.

"Do as I say, not as I do. Stay in school."

"Fine."

"I'm gonna get Nat some sushi," Bucky said. "Watch my stuff?"

"Not like I'm going anywhere."

Bucky rolled his eyes and not so subtly, bumped Clint's shoulder. "Want anything from the sushi place?"

"Anything that has caffeine."

"You got it."

Bucky went into the tiny sushi place they had on campus.

Clint tapped his foot, humming to himself. Minding his own business, getting lost in his thoughts.

"Outta the way, slowpoke!" came a shout.

Without enough time to act, Clint was snapped out of his thoughts and suddenly knocked onto the ground, his backpack unzipping and sending all of his books onto the ground, a dozen of cookie boxes following them too.

"Dude!" Clint sputtered out.

The guy, a very tall platinum blonde, stopped and turned around. He wore a tight light blue shirt, silver streaks going down the sleeves.

"What the fuck?!" Clint exclaimed.

The guy smirked, and feigning innocence, asked "What? You didn't see that coming?"

Clint didn't get the chance to answer, the other guy sped off before he could.

* * *

Bucky wasn't sure what he was expecting when he walked out with a container full of take out sushi to give to Natasha as a peace offering.

In one hand, he carried the bag of takeout, and in the other, a cold unopened bottle of soda.

Just as he was going to call out for Clint, he saw the archer on the ground, laying in pain.

"Why are you on the floor?" Bucky asked.

"I think I got ran over by Sonic the Hedgehog."

* * *

In her place, Natasha sat barefoot and cross legged on the couch, the container of sushi in her hands as she ate. Bucky sat on the floor across Clint, knowing that Natasha hated dirty floors and that she kept it clean on a daily basis.

"So, you got run over by Sonic the Hedgehog?" Natasha asked.

"I was outside waiting for Bucky to get your sushi. I was minding my _own _business, doing my thing, and out of nowhere, this fucking guy just BARGES into me, no warning, and I'm on the floor, guy doesn't even apologize. You know what he said? Do you know what this asshole, this no good blond white Speedy Gonzales _scoundrel _said?"

Natasha simply deadpanned and asked "What did he say?"

In his best Sonic on Crack impression, Clint said "You didn't see that coming?"

At the voice, Bucky scoffed behind his chopsticks. "So, you've met one of the twins," he said.

"Oh god, there's _another_?!" Clint asked, horrified.

"Fraternal. You met the brother, Pietro Maximoff," Bucky said, finishing his noodle.

"The guy who ran me over? That's Pietro? That's Sonic on crack?" Clint asked.

"He's a track star, got here on a full ride scholarship," Natasha said.

That explained the running, then. The guy looked like he wasn't going to be late for class, but more of just enjoying the sport.

"He has a sister. She's nicer than Pietro," Natasha paused. "And...well weirder. I have her in my English class."

"I have Pietro in my astrology class," Bucky commented. "I knew he had a twin, but I have never met his sister."

"He does. You can't really tell though, because of their hair color. He's blond, while Wanda is a brunette, and a little shorter than him."

Okay. Brown hair, related to Pietro. "Wanda is a brunette right?" Clint asked, "Long brown hair, wears a lot of rings, about this high?" Clint motioned his hand to the approximate height he had last remembered seeing the girl when she got thin mints the other day.

"Yeah, that's Wanda. That's her."

"Dude, we sold cookies to her the other day!" Clint said to Bucky.

"Oh shit, you're right, we did."

"Are they transfer students?" Clint asked. Pietro had an accent that Clint couldn't pinpoint the origin, but he knew it was there when the other guy talked. It wasn't the subtle Brooklyn accent that showed up when Steve got excited over something, or the smooth English sounding voice that Thor had. And Wanda, the girl they sold cookies to the other day, she had a _definite _accent.

"Nope. They graduated last summer from Winfrey," Natasha said.

"How come I haven't seen them around until now?"

"I think they were travelling for the summer and barely got here last week," Natasha said.

Winfrey, Clint recognized the school across town from where he used to go. Winfrey Lions versus Warden Wasps, eternal rivals.

"So the twins are freshmen."

"Mhm. They went to high school here, but they're from Sokovia."

"What's a Sokovia?"

"It's a tiny Eastern European country," Natasha explained. "Not too far from Russia."

"No wonder you know her," Clint said. "You got that Baltic connection."

Natasha rolled her eyes and continued eating into her sushi.

* * *

**Reviews are very very welcome! Please leave one.**


End file.
